Why You Need A Safe Word

In the world of BDSM, it important to have a safe word.

It’s very dark here with the blindfold on. Dark enough that I start to think I hear things and smell things, even when I couldn’t possibly. Just a few minutes ago it was cold and now I’m smelling smoke and it seems to be getting warmer. Sensory deprivation will do that to you, make you believe that you are in danger when you aren’t and even keep you on edge and excited.

The last time I was here in this dungeon (at least I think it’s a dungeon, I’ve never actually seen it in the bright light) with my Mistress, she told me that now that I was naked, she was going to bring in friends to stare at me and just knowing these women were here looking at me naked and tied up excited me.

Until after what seemed like an hour, but may have only been a few minutes, she started laughing and told me that all this time my cock had been hard for nothing. No one had been there, just me alone in the dark, writhing and moving my hips, putting on a show for no one at all.

We All Need Boundaries

My Mistress found this to be very amusing, but then again she finds many of the situations that she puts me in to be very amusing and often pushes me to and past limits that don’t seem possible for me. If you haven’t had a Mistress who is truly cruel then you wouldn’t maybe know what I mean, but as a submissive man, my true needs are to be controlled and pushed.

My Mistress does this. She understands the control a Dominant partner has over a submissive one and when I first came to her, she was the one who sat down and refused to play any naughty or erotic games with me until we discussed boundaries and desires and chose a safe word.

Boundaries I totally understood. After all I wanted to talk with her about those very things, we all have them and sometimes it’s exciting to push them in theory but not so much in real life. I’ve found that I get nervous and pull back, which is what I wanted a very mean Mistress for, someone to insist that I do what she desired even if it was so far past what I normally would like to do.

This is part of what a FemDom does, right? That’s what I said to her and she looked at me as though I were a fool and laughed. Her laughter got me hard almost instantly and I was quick to point out that I knew she wasn’t there to make me happy but other way around. She still laughed and I started to feel a bit concerned about it. After all this wasn’t something to be taken lightly.

;

A Safe Word is a Must

Then she grabbed my leg, hard and leaned in close, telling me that boundaries are the only things keeping me safe from her cruel and often times sadistic personality. She insisted that I not only discuss them with her, listing them in detail and choosing whether they were soft or hard boundaries but also that we come up with a safe word I could use to escape the situation at any time.

I planned to never want to escape no matter what, but decided that doing what she said was preferable to having her refuse to control me. She made it clear that if I didn’t follow her rules I would be out and she had plenty of other slaves who could take my place should that be a problem. I swore to her that it wasn’t a problem at all and promptly chose a safe word we could both agree on.

It’s a simple word. One that I wouldn’t normally use during our play but one that neither of us will forget or misunderstand. Believe me, having this word has saved me. No one can truly know how much pain, excitement, or discomfort another is feeling and without a safe word, your Dominant partner, isn’t able to tell if you are just begging as part of the controlling play or if you are honestly in need of release.

She tied me up once and as usual I begged her not to, but of course she did anyway. I begged her not to leave me there in the dark, but without the safe word, she wouldn’t have known that something was honestly hurting and needed to be adjusted. Play stopped immediately, she corrected it and we resumed the next day. This keeps our relationship pure and this is why in any erotic play, you should always have a safe word.